The interviewer was now a bit cheesed off, so he decided to do the Irishman once and for all therefore, he handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 100.Īfter thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: “But that is not ninety-nine!” “Oh yes, it is”, said the Irishman, “Dirty tree + dirty tree + dirty tree make ninety-nine.” The interviewer returned the paper to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99.Īfter thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. “Oh yes, it is”, said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, “Tree + Tree + Tree make nine!” The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: “But that is not nine!” “Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?” After thinking for a while, the Irishman took the pencil, drew a canopy of leaves on top of the three pairs of lines, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. When the interview was over, the interviewer told him that all applicants had to complete a test. “Young man,” said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant.” It’s alcohol and alcohol alone that’s responsible for your present sorry state!” I’m glad to hear you say that,” replied Murphy, with a sigh of relief.” Everybody else says it’s all my fault!”Īn Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies.“What’s so special about him?” asks Mary. Paddy says to Mary if you were stranded on a desert island, who would you like most to be with you?”.The barman says to Paddy, “Your glass is empty fancy another one?” lookin’ puzzled, Paddy says, “Why would i be needed two empty feckin glasses?”.And said, “do you treat alcoholics”, The Dr replied, “of course we do”………Paddy said, “great, get your coat on I’m feckin skint 4) Short Irish jokes: Paddy went to the doctor’s and more What I want to know is, can I sue Guinness for all dem ugly women It made me sleep with. “That’s right,” said the lawyer.” But why are you asking?” “Yep.” “And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldn’t read?” “And that a lady sued McDonald’s for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered?” “And now someone is suin’ dem fast food restaurants for makin’ dem fat an’ cloggin’ their arteries with all dem der burgers an’ fries, is that true?” “Yes, Patrick, sure is true,” responded the lawyer.
“They go SPLBLBLBLBT.”ģ) Irish Jokes: Can I blame it on Guinness?:ĭublin’s Patrick O’Shea called his lawyer and asked, “Is it true they are suin’ dem der cigarette companies for causin’ people to get cancer?” “How do they pee, then?” asks the Englishman. “Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, I’ll Chop his The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a
“Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard!” he says. They all goĪn hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. “Oh, all right.” the Englishman says sullenly. The Irishman replies, “Have some respect. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Raspberry, “SPLBLBLBLT!,” right in the face and runs back to The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter.Īs he’s drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had too many drinks says, “Hey, what’s that little green thing down there?” “It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!” 2) Irish joke about the leprechaun:Īn Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” says the doctor, “I thought if he took those tablets, he would be all right.”, “Oh, the tablets were fine,” says Mrs Murphy, “Oh, he died of a heart attack,” says Mrs Murphy. “Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patient’s wife.” Hello Mrs Murphy,” he says, “how’s your husband?” “So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, “Do I have to take them every day?” No,” replies the doctor, “take one on a Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay.
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